Thank you all for your thoughtful input. Thank you for caring.

I agree with everything said, I know intellectually that this is just some type of place holder for something else I have missed out on in my childhood.

But that knowledge doesn't make these feelings go away.

I did tell him about my feelings back in the summer, I tried to anyway, but he didn't make it easy, and never brought it up again so I'm all alone with it.

I saw him today and we talked about my feelings of despair and giving up. He wanted to know what that meant to me. I said I wasn't sure. He says I'm a fighter but he seemed alarmed with my attitude today, So did I.

Once again he brought up the idea of increasing my sessions to twice a week. But I don't want to do that.
I already feel too dependant on him and think that might put me over the edge. I feel like he is becoming a part of me somehow.

I'm so confused and depressed.

If this post is inappropriate I'm sorry. Please delete it.

Twinks