I have been struggling with a severe depressive stage for about seven months. I got a brief respite in the form of a hypomanic episode one of those months. Take my word on this one, stop asking all those questions. It'll only make you feel bad. Take it as it is. Accept yourself and try to realize that bipolar does not have to run your life. I'm still working on that one myself, BTW.
If you over analyze it, the bipolar will feed off of that, especially the depression.
And if you need meds, it sounds like it will only be for a temporary amount of time. So, if that's what it takes to lift you out of the crap, go for it.
Just keep remembering how well you were and remind yourself you will be well again soon.
Hugs!