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Whether anyone thinks it is "wrong" for you to be upset is beside the point. You are upset. It is very likely that the source of this irritation/frustration is a combination of your issues and his personality.
Men sometimes do say the strangest things and think they are giving you a compliment. But who hasn't said something out loud that sounded better in their head?
It sounds to me as if the main thing that is irritating you is that you feel that you are putting your life on hold to suit his schedule. If this is the case, first let him know without putting him on the defense. "I feel you take me for granted when you do not give me much notice when you want to come over. Whether or not this is your intention, it makes me feel insignificant and unimportant when you say you will be here at 2 and arrive at 4." Then concider what you both can do so you don't feel this way.
I do not know if this is gender specific, but my husband thinks one kind gesture will excuse another oversight. If I've asked him to mow the lawn and he does not he thinks a foot rub will "balance the scale". The lawn still needs to be mowed.
It sounds like there are multiple communication issues going on. First it is really important that you understand what it is you wish to express. Next, equally important, that what you say and what he hears is the same thing.
On another note, I am sorry that you've got a sinus infection. I used to get them chronically. I rarely get them anymore thanks to a netti pot. I just had a doosey because I ran out of solution, it really makes a HUGE difference. They are cheap and work wonders!
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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