Hi rainingstarfire, I'm so sorry things are so bleak for you right now. I hope I can give you a little reassurance that it doesn't have to stay that way.

I went undiagnosed (and unmedicated) for 50 years. I didn't find my real soul mate until I was 39. We've been together 13 years and it looks pretty certain neither one of us is going anywhere.

At 50 I was misdiagnosed and was on Prozac for two years, the result that I was in a hypomanic phase for most of those two years.

At 52 I finally got a correct diagnosis. I take meds and it works well for me. But I did okay without them, too. Not great, but okay.

I have two wonderful, well-adjusted grown children, two beautiful grandbabies and another one on the way.

I haven't lost my creativity, but it doesn't come in flashes of brilliance anymore, either. It's a more structured and disciplined process. Which is good, because I have literally hundreds of story ideas written down from before that I was too unfocused to work on.

I guess my point is that everyone must find their own path, but be patient and don't despair, because there will be so many good things along the way, even if you're old like me .