I only joined this forum a few days ago, & as I wrote in my introduction letter, I am splitting up with my Husband of many many years because of a behavior problem he has, that I have tolerated because there was no 1 to go to for help, then stayed for the children, then it was something else etc etc tried to get help all along the line but my husband refuses to either attend to admit their is a problem, its everyone else's fault but his, its now dragging me down, but why as before as soon as I told my close relations did some seem to assume that I was nt telling the truth even 2 of my sons who lived through what their Father did, my brother said 7 years ago that he wasn't choosing as he liked my husband..I wasn't asking sides to be taken !! I respect peoples choices in sticking by a couple when they split but Physiclal & Mental violence for nearly 50 years is no joke & taking sides doesn't come into it.Now I am nervous of telling any one I told my Daughter & she is 100% behind me & says that she has seen so much ( she also had an abusive relationship& fully understand how my life has been) But my SIL also last time seemed to think it was ok to stay in that way & live separate lives!! Can any one understand what I am tryng to say?