zoo, I can't believe this. This says stuff about M though, not YOU. This says that M is a person who judges people for really awful reasons, reasons that are things that are outside of their control. It's just as bad as saying, "I don't want to be your friend because you're black" or "I don't want to be your friend because you're gay." Those are things that are outside of that person's control, just like you couldn't control the fact that this terrible thing happened to you! M is a person who has interpersonal problems bigtime. Who would want a friend like that? Clearly she was seeking details, then couldn't handle the truth. This is HER problem -- maybe think about it in a different way -- say someone got a really scary surgery that involved something scary and graphic, like hmm like an amputation or something like that. And this was a friend of yours and you started asking for more details and you found that you were very disturbed by the details of this person's surgery. Would this change your opinion of the person? Would you judge the person for telling you these details? Would you stop being this person's friend because they told you these details? What would it say about you if you DID decide to stop being this person's friend?

You know?

((((zoo)))) your T is different, too. She WANTS you to say these things because she wants to help you heal. Telling T details is NEVER a bad thing. Never never never.