I guess I was very lucky because the relationship I had with my previous Psychologist was like my Father. He was kind & gentle & caring....I respected him & cared for him as a father. Guess that was because it was what I had always imagined the relationship should be with my Father but never was.

I am still in contact with him & check with him & how he is doing after his back surgery. We had some problems because he was having back problems at the time I went through the trauma & my Mothers death at the end of last year & beginning of this year. He just couldn't help me deal with the trauma for some reason.....& was limiting his practice to out of his house. I ended up going back to the psychologist I had 8 years ago close to home & we have our dressage riding & horses in common. It is getting kind of expensive for me but holding of trying to go back to him because she is able to work with me & hope I am getting somewhere.

I did have a psychologist that practiced in the medical hospital I was in for a couple of months at the beginning of the year. I remember feeling that he was really awsome but I can't remember much about that period of my life & don't really know why I thought he was so good. I remember being able to really open up with him considering I didn't know him at all.....I had never been able to open up that much or that quickly with anyone in my life & don't know how it happened. He was very professional & seemed to help me go through everything I was going through including being so physically sick. I wish I remembered more about that period of time & the communications we had.....but that isn't going to happen.

When I first went to a psychologist, I remember going to a good looking one, but was so afraid of the psychology environment I couldn't open up no matter what I thought of him....& he was pretty cool.

What you are explaining reminds me of relationships I had when I was young & in school & attracted to guys who were in no way interested in me for whatever reason.

Hope you can put your feelings into perspective & come to terms with them.
Debbie