That's awesome, Jexa! I know what it is like to not have many friends IRL. I'm so glad you found an activity you can do mindfully and you don't have to worry about the social anxiety aspect.

You ARE healing, Jexa. I always think of this, I don't know where I read it, maybe here:
willingness is opening up, willfulness is shutting down.

I like that because shutting down is a problem for me, a negative coping skill I guess. It doesn't FEEL willful, it feels like giving up. But now, whenever I feel myself shutting down, and I can remember that's willfulness, and I'm trying to do the willingness thing these days.