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The gaping jaws of Depression have swallowed me whole...can't move...can't think...can't see...can't breathe...pounded by wave after wave of too much sorrow, grief, loss, hopelessness, futility, frustration, damage, injury, destruction, agony, torture, indifference, betrayal, injustice, judgment, condemnation...my abusers are never going to stop until they have crushed the very life out of me with their vicious lies...deceiving and manipulating others into doing their dirty work for them...my mother always said that she wanted to kill me slowly by inches so she could enjoy watching me suffer, and my siblings, the products of my parents' handiwork, are doing just that...fulfilling the destinies for which they were trained...punishing me unto perpetuity for crimes I have not committed...punishing me for existing...imprisoning me in a living death...determined to make me into the nothingness they have defined and portrayed me to others as being...
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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