There are other groups, zoo. I don't see that SA has cost you the group. Having a friendship with a person who turned out to be a bad egg is not something to blame yourself for. M is who she is. What I see is that SA conditions us to accept being in abusive situations, and thinking they are OK. Your sitting in this group with M there, "putting this aside", sounds very reminiscent, to me, of sitting still and taking abuse, not standing up for oneself, not doing what is healthy. I think sometimes the healthy thing to do is to refuse to engage with a person anymore. M had her chance with you, she blew it and treated you badly. I don't see a reason for you to do any sort of activity with her. I hope you can be strong, and not set this aside and put up with her hurtful presence. That is just my take on this, zoo--perhaps you are more forgiving towards M. But you do not have to take this. I'm trying to picture telling my own T something like the situation you've described. I think if I told him I had chosen not to be with this woman anymore--in group or elsewhere--he would high five me.