I have such a hard time with this sort of thing, also, still. The worst time for me for the phone calls right now is just the time you're talking about -- when she's coming home, and I'm not sure whether she's still away or has returned. Those are the times that I just call again and again and again to see if she's changed her phone message yet.

Right now I do better when she's away, but that's partly because by now I tend to know where she goes (to her daughters, to her sister, to her vacation house.) It's those in-between times, when I don't know where she is that drive me nuts.

At the moment, I won't see her till after Thanksgiving, and I know she's going away for a few days then. So I'm already feeling a little bit stressed.

No advice for you, I guess that's obvious. But you're not alone, and if anyone else comes up with advice, I'll be eager to read it.

Your T sounds just lovely, though. She might be the one with the good suggestions.

-Far