Please try and hang in there for the sake of your son if nothing else. In 2005 I was terribly depressed without really knowing how bad it was( I was on antidepressents) and due to an argument with my husband and his walking out of the house, triggered a manic agressive suicide attempt which was almost successful. Luckily I freaked out at what I had done( a handful of 2 different types of pills with whiskey) and called my husband who wasn't far away. The paramedics were who saved me. I regret putting my son who was then 18 through that. I have used him as an excuse since he was little to keep living to be there for him. It doesn't stop even when they are older. He'll still need you. My son is 1200 miles away now-he's been at school 5 years and earned 2 degrees-but he still really loves me and wants to have access to me for advice or bouncing ideas off of or to talk about his girlfriend or dog. Your son needs you now and will need you later. I pray you find someone to talk to and get appropriate help. It's unfortunate about the work situation as that was part of my problem also. When your feeling desperate get a hug from your son or try real hard to call and bother someone to vent to. I totally understand where you are and pray you get past this point. I can't say it will be easier but you can do it one day at a time.