Accepting living with this illness, has been extremely difficult for me. I had a seasonal sunglass business for 18 years and my short lived hypo manic phase, allowed me to excel at sales. I then shipped during my depressive phases. After a full blown mania I was medicated for the Bipolar in 1995, my sales ability went out the door. I went on SSDI, in 2002. Since then I have longed to find a passion. I sit here and think of things but that is as far as it gets. I keep thinking my purpose will become obvious to me, but hasn't yet. I spent most of my life being whatever someone else wanted me to be. Husband, father, business owner. The wife and business are gone, and the dynamic's of being a father has changed drastically now my daughters have graduated from college. So my life is now trying to find my purpose, accepting this hideous illness and trying to learn to enjoy life.