Need I say more. I'm scared of the SI taking control. So I try and do good things. but they aren't helping right now. I'm on the edge of control. I keep seeing more and more ways that I could SI. It's not good, I can't take it much longer. but maybe sleep will hlep. I hope it does. It's the last thing I have left... before I do something really bad. I've been here before. and I think I can get past this. I think...