I don't know what is going on or why I am feeling so rubbish.

I started uni last October, to do a course I have been working towards for years. I was exercising regularly and feeling good. But it has gone down hill from there. I got ill at christmas, chest infection and ear infection. I started drinking and smoking again after years of not. I felt completely out of control. I woke up in the middle of the night and had a panic attack but that passed as quickly as it had appeared. I started making myself sick after eating, but again, that didn't last long. I trained and ran a half marathon in September. The day after that my mood dipped and I haven't felt right since. I had a brief romance over the summer and that ended just after the half marathon too. I tried to keep myself busy to help me move on from the guy, possibly too busy and I have just crashed.

I can barely get out of bed on a morning at the moment. Took me an hour this morning to get in the shower and now I am sitting back on my bed.

I think I feel angry at myself for getting involved with that guy over the summer and not feeling over it yet. I also feel angry that I got into exercise and now I can barely get out of bed. Most of all I feel scared about messing up my degree. I want the motivation back that I had last year. I just wanna feel like me again........