Quote:
Originally Posted by Kacey2
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When I found out about PC I felt that this would be a place where people would understand. I guess I am finding out that my experience is pretty different than others who are in therapy. I don't mean to drag anyone down. I apologize for that.  I will try to keep my posts more on the positive side. It is just for me the therapy helps me but the relationship can hurt oh so bad.  |
(((((((((((Kacey))))))))))))
I wonder if it's more similar than you think?
I've been with T for 3 years, and navigating the relationship has been THE hardest part of therapy for me...harder than all of the trauma work put together, probably. It's calmed down a lot now, but I spent years not knowing whether I loved him or hated him or both, whether I should push him away or pull him closer, whether he liked me or dreaded seeing me walking through the door, whether it was *really* okay to call/e-mail, even though he said it was, whether he was judging me and my story, whether someone like him could ever love me and all of the parts that I'm made of. And on and on and on.
And we have had some REALLY BIG ruptures. It seems like there used to be almost a cycle of them. Now, they happen less often, and when they do happen, it feels less traumatizing, but it was hard work to get to this place.
The therapy relationship is hard hard hard hard work, especially for those of us who have been abused, unloved, etc.
Hang in there
