My meds evened me out enough to start to rebuild my self-esteem, of which I still have little. If your moods aren't stable, it is going to be hard to work on any internal issues, kmd. The hypomania fuels a fake self-confidence and the depression fuels self-hatred. The middle ground is where we belong so that we can see ourselves as we really are, even it isn't what we want to see. We can begin to work from where we really are, without the distorted image BP gives us.