I agree that buying these upgrades is enabling him to continue the behavior which makes you feel so left out. I feel like he doesn't understand that he can't have his cake and eat it too. He wants to do his own thing and ignore you during the day and then gets mad when you wont "put out" after being ignored all day.

My bf bought Halo Reach and basically ignored me for a week or so. I was expecting it for the first week. But after that I told him that he was being a jerk by still ignoring me then wanting sex at the end of the day. He said he agreed and stopped playing it while I was home. We went back to playing games together and he asks me before he starts playing to make sure I wont feel left out by him playing. If he ignored those comments I made and continued it I would probably break his xbox and he knows that.

A while back right when he bought his iPod touch he was on it all the time. Like I said earlier, I expect him to be on it constantly for the first week or so from just being excited about it. But once he started bringing it to bed I told him if he didn't leave it downstairs when we went to bed, he would wake up and it would be buried in the yard. I guess I don't feel bad because I would expect the same thing if I was doing it. Sometimes that's the only way to get through to someone how ridiculous they are being. I don't like resorting to ultimatums but if he can't see the boundaries that you lay out plainly, then he obviously doesn't respond to normal social cues. And if you want to continue the relationship, you have to find his button that he responds to.

But that being said, I don't like the way I feel when I resort to those levels. So you have to think "Is this changing me as a person?" or "Do I like what this is making me become?" And if you don't like how YOU act due to HIS behaviors, then I think you have your answer. Relationships are all about communication and if it is a simple matter than can be resolved by talking or maybe even some counseling, go for it. But if this seems like some fatal flaw that actually goes beyond the games (i.e. just plain selfishness) then there really isn't anything YOU can do to change that kind of ingrained behavior. He has to be the one who wants to change it.