(((bpd_mess))) i agree with the rest - you are very brave! I admire you for being honest AND continuing forward. I am one of many who can relate to the struggle & contradiction within...yet have honestly given up; the weaknesses & worthlessness within are more true and real than the possibility of doing/being better ...Hope your appointment goes well tommorow. Know that you are also not alone - i think you do have a lot of great support as you continue...