I've only been seeing him for 4 mos...I don't trust him, I'm not even sure I like him, it's only been 2 wks into our break....SO why do I FREAKIN miss him?

I'm sitting here remembering a session several weeks back, where I told him some benign family secrets (not the bad stuff) and I kind of mentally left the room at one point. So I leaned forward in my chair with my hands clenched in front of me looking down at the floor. And he talked me back, somehow he got in close, moved his chair forward and leaned forward, but not to close...but close enough so I "felt" him there. And it didn't freak me out, and I didn't run, and it was ok.

Ugh...this is weird for me...I've had several T's, but that was a connection that one time...and now I'm thinking of it, and now I want to connect again...but I can't because we're on a break, and I am supposed to not care about not seeing him cause I don't get attached to anyone...and....crap...

What is this?