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Nov 21, 2010, 05:07 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: Fringes of the bell-shaped curve
Posts: 779
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turquoisesea
(((((((lynn))))))))
I'm sorry there's not much I can say here except I do know how you feel I think. Except... your mother. I'm horrified she said that. For what it's worth you're not nothing to me *hugs*
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 Thanks, (((sea))). Actually, that's probably one of the nicer things my mother has said to or about me during my 60 years on this planet - but, that's who she is - who she has chosen to be. She and my older siblings, just like all abusers, believe that if they can convince enough people that my identity is as they portray it in service to their self-interests, and can manipulate others into abusing me for them according to that false portrayal of my identity, then they can justify abusing me themselves. In other words, "I can manipulate others into perceiving you as thus; therefore, you are." My family members firmly believe that truth and reality are mere products of perception; therefore, by controlling other people's perception of reality, my family members believe that they can create the "reality" that best suits their purposes - they can control not only how others perceive and devalue me, but enhance how others perceive and assign value to them, as well.
I do not put any store in what my mother or siblings say about who I am - never have and never will since I know that there is no factual basis for any of it. My parents were accusing me of doing things before I was old enough to do those things or even know what they were talking about! The problem comes when others allow my family members to control how they perceive me, and allow themselves to be manipulated into abusing me, thereby becoming abusers themselves.
After 60 years of this nonsense, sometimes it just seems that it is never ever going to end - even when I die, I know that they will never stop abusing me - never stop defaming and discrediting me to others - never stop shoving my face in the dirt just so they can manipulate others into perceiving them as being of superior quality and value compared to me in order to validate their worthiness to exist! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........
Ah, well...this too shall pass, I guess. Thanks for the hugs, sea. 
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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