My Support Forums - View Single Post - Help...I've fallen and I can't get up....

lynn09 · Nov 21, 2010, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

aahh Dear Lynn~!! i had to leave my family, go far away, and start a new life... it wasn't easy, it was incredibly lonely for a long time, but in the end,, it was well worth it,, i could never have done the healing work i needed in the environment where i was. i hope beyond hope that you find a way OUT ~! {{{{BIG HUGS}}}} Gus

Thanks, Gus. I did leave my family - for about 30 years - my family members, especially my siblings, had never expressed any interest in being in my life even when we were growing up. It wasn't until I became disabled in 1999 by a series of life-threatening allergic reactions that they suddenly "reappeared" in my life. During my 3rd reaction that year, my mother was having heart bypass surgery here in Texas. That's when my siblings realized that if she passed and I survived, 1/3 of her estate would come to me in Michigan beyond their reach and control. That's when they started "romancing" me - took them almost 2 years, but they finally convinced me to give them the benefit of the doubt that they actually cared about and wanted to help me - if I would move back to Texas so that it would be easier for my brother to help me find the specialists I needed, blahblahblah, lie, lie, lie.....

Of course, as soon as I arrived in Texas, the old abuse started all over again in earnest - their goal was to get control over my share of the inheritance in our mother's will by any means necessary and at any cost to me. It took them almost 6 years and they had to completely destroy my life, but they finally managed to get what they wanted - the only thing they ever cared about. But, in order to hang onto their "reward," they can never stop abusing me - they can't afford for anyone to learn the truth about or hold them accountable for what they've done - they have to keep defaming and discrediting me, and manipulating others into doing the same thing, in order to justify what they've done.

It is just very difficult for me to deal with all of this, to try to just live much less recoup any of what I have lost without appropriate medical care. Trying to do all that is required to survive this mess by myself without any help and without any medication for my Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD, ADHD/ADD, Chronic Pain, etc., due to my immune-system disorder is nearly impossible. I know what needs to be done - I have the intelligence, experience, and skills - but concentrating and focusing so I can do what needs to be done while simultaneously dealing with the distraction of all of my symptoms being triggered by trying to do it is frustration and agony to the Nth degree. Thanks to my siblings' illegal interference in my healthcare, I have lost a considerable portion of my disability and retirement benefits, so I don't have the money now to be able to move out of state - which is probably the only way I will ever be able to get medical care. I guess what really hurts the most is that all the pain, damage, and destruction that my siblings, et al, have inflicted on me was deliberate, intentional, premeditated. Without the slightest hint of conscience or remorse, they never intended to do me anything but harm.

At this point, there is only one way "OUT" for me - so I either take the "OUT," or I battle all of hell in order to live. Don't worry - I prefer the latter to the former - but, I'm already 60 y/o and 9 years of this level of abuse has taken its toll, and I don't know how much longer I can fight this battle alone.

Thanks for the BIG HUGS, Gus - they do help.