Ah. I see. First off, let me say that my mother is a 10 year breast cancer survivor! ! ! ! I'm a young man too, so I've seen her struggle with this my entire adult life. Some of my greatest inspirations in life came from the friends my mother made in chemotherapy and radiation. She is now in remission FYI Stress is the last thing you need right now.

Fortunately, in many cases this type of cancer is usually very treatable. Do you have a good team of doctors? Responsive to your questions, direct in their answers, presents all options and treats you as a whole person who can make up her own mind? Secondly, I REALLY think maybe you should find another way to see your T more frequently. You NEED strong emotional support during this time. Have you asked your T if he works on a sliding scale? My T did more than one session with me where he only charged me for 30-45 mins when I really had 90 min sessions when I was going through a hard financial time when I lost my insurance (because I lost my job and also my apartment!)

At the VERY LEAST, I think you need to call him when you feel down and out, especially now that you felt some sort of connection with him. If you presented it accurately, your T really sounds helpful and supportive and interested in your development and wants you to reach out.

For heavens sake, he rather effectively and intentionally PULLED you out of your dissociative state when you were blinking out on him. I think you should give him a little credit, and go beyond your comfort zone and reach out a little more. I don't think he is going to bite. In fact, my T has acted similar to that before with me too (I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and trauma issues on top of the ADHD and so I've experienced disassociation before in his office). It means something that he not only recognized your dissociative state, but that he was also able to connect with you and bring you out of it.

I have seen VERY BAD T's and MD psychiatrists over the last few years, and I learned from my own mistakes in judgment. I know the difference between over-estimation of the skill and "help" from a T or other doctor. I've flat out walked out on a really unprofessional psychiatrist before and also dealt with really bad T's before (luck of the draw, it's not like I'm honey and they're bees lol ) There are doctors and then there are doctors. There are T's and then there are T's. Yours sounds like a decent one.

I agree about trying to maintain and build on and work with that connection with your T. Does your work have an EAP, and if so, is your T one of the list providers? Can you ask him if you can pay later or have a reduced fee schedule like a sliding scale or something? Tell him what you told us. I think he would probably be happy that he helped and will probably want to keep working with you. Does he know that you have ca?