hmm. this is an interesting thread. it's amazing what i miss when i'm gone for a few days.

first, Fuzzy, yes that is exactly what this place is supposed to be...the whole site not just this forum. and yeah it's full of people and it is in human nature to not always understand or get along. the goal of this site is for us to honestly try to get along and understand one another and to work out issues when we can't seem to get along. (((((((((((fuzzy))))))))))))

what I, personally, am seeing from this thread is some miscommunication. so i sort of want to try and sort this all out the way i see it...and figure out if i'm on the right track or not.

basically, i think that _zh feels like there are some times on here where the safety of some members of this particular forum (struggling w/ DID) is threatened by those who are not struggling with these particular disorders. that is completely understandable because the very existence of DID says that somewhere in the history of the person there are lots of reasons to feel unsafe.

safety is a key issue for all of us here...we have to do what keeps us safe. if that means that a poster is only comfortable with responses from certain types of posters, then by all means, qualify your post by including those limitations. that is a valid way to get the help you need the way you need it and there is nothing wrong with posting that way.

on the other hand, if you do not feel threatened by others who are maybe not as familiar with DID or you want to open your post up to anyone who cares to respond, as Audrey wants to, then that is okay too. it is equally valid.

there are some of us here in DD that are still struggling with our dx... that may mean that the children inside us are not something we want to acknowledge. that is okay. we are all at different places in our healing and i know that some of us just aren't comfortable enough with what's going on inside our own minds and bodies to be able to deal with certain things. thus it may be necessary for those members to post and ask for only adults to respond.

that request is IN NO WAY a rebuke or insult to the littles who post here. the littles are all equally cherished. but there are some bigs who just don't feel very comfortable with that...maybe because they haven't been able to accept their own littles. that is something they have to work out inside themselves with themselves. that does NOT mean that littles aren't welcomed here. they ARE.

sometimes littles just want to play with other littles and bigs who like to play around. i think the littles here have had enough not fun in their lives to make their desire for a bit of fun completely reasonable and understandable. their posts and threads are welcome here whether they want to cry and hide or they want to play and have fun. they have those rights same as bigs.

the reason the posting on this forum has be rather different from the posting on other forums is because not only is our membership here widely varied...the membership inside each member is widely varied. what bothers one big may not upset another and may terrify a little...all in the same body. there can be widely different responses to the same thing...all within the same person. that can create all sorts of tensions and problems if we are not careful.

that is why we have to be extra kind and considerate in our posting here. for bigs who want to only talk to bigs for WHATEVER reason...just post that as a request at the top of your post. for littles who want to have fun or be taken care of and protected, then post that because it's okay too. for people who want sympathy from others who share the same dx and may be better able to understand...post that as a request too. remember all the trigger warnings if the post is upsetting.

we need to have extra respect for one another here. if a post upsets you take a step back and read it a day or two later...figure out exactly what parts bother you and try to work out the reasons why. and i know we can't always do that...but it's worth at least the attempt.

the people in this forum have had lives that have not been safe in many many ways...that is why that it is paramount for this forum to be ultra respectful and kind and SAFE.

if safety for you means only bigs or only littles or only other multiples or whatever..... just make sure you let everyone know so that you can have your safety needs met and so that you can get the support you need.

we have to take care of ourselves while we reach out to others. that can be hard to do. just remember that our goal is to be supportive. we all try to get support in different ways just as we all give it in different ways. let's respect our differences and try to search out similarities not disagreements.

i am very glad to be a part of this community. i would much rather have someone include a request about what they need to be safe that excludes me than accidently hurt someone or frighten them. i know that many of us feel the same way.

let's allow each other to be what we all need to be. let the bigs be big or little as they require...and let the littles be little or grown up as they require. let's just be kind and respectful of each other's safety and needs.

(((((((((((all of you))))))))))))


shadow