Thank you both for your warm support -- it really helps to hear from other people who have been (or are) going through the same. I do see a psychologist, as well as a psychiatrist... unfortunately, the psychologist isn't very helpful (I really NEED to learn coping skills, and have someone guide me to change the false beliefs that I have -- like CBT...not just talking). I've tried to tell my psychologist this, and she did become more interactive (versus having me sit there the whole time talking) but still no behavior suggestions. I'm thinking it's time to move on.

To Parker10, that's really interesting about how one might have had a traumatic experience that they can't remember that led to the fear. I mean, I knew that this applied to children that were sexually abused, & other traumatic experiences, but I had never thought to apply it to my own fears. I'll check w/ my parents about this...

I have been told that I was extremely afraid of being set down (or having no physical contact) as a baby, and that it anyone could hold me to make me stop crying (not just a parent-attachment thing). This continued through childhood to an extent; but I have no idea what could have caused it. I know that when I was three, my dad & brother were in a serious wreck, & my dad was in the ICU for a month (w/ my mom away for most of the time...I rarely saw her for about two weeks, & for years afterwards she had PTSD). This seems kinda lame (not horribly/directly traumatic)...but I guess I had a disposition to react more severely to separation. I've been told by my T's that this caused my secure-attachment to be interrupted/not form completely.

But the good news: I haven't taken the Adderall in two days now, & haven't had bad anxiety. My boyfriend (live-in) just broke up w/ me, so I figure I should get over that before I try Adderall again. I'm also freaking myself out more by worrying about having more anxiety (after taking Adderall...or just in the evening) so I'd like to try to minimize everything that may cause it, so that I don't develop permanent anxiety triggered by these things/times. I'm also making permanent plans every evening, to have dinner w/ friends/family (I'm going to board at my friends' house). Hopefully a routine like this will calm my fears of being alone at night.

Thanks for Your Help!!
~Jessie