i particularly liked your comments on prayer. i don't quite understand it myself but when all else had failed i prayed. i found that i experienced hope by doing this. i knew i was not alone anymore. that i was part of a bigger plan. so glad you have discovered this spiritual tool also. i have found it has changed my life so much for the better. i found my HP in AA. up til then i was a skeptic.
glad you got the "sack off your back" too, split image, by doing step 4 and 5. now the awareness is there. you have accomplished many things since sobriety. i know you have worked as tho your life depended on it and that is the key. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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