hi tree,

thanks for sharing all of that. it's nice to hear about your process, however painful sometimes.

one thing i wanted to mention (besides: i think you're doing great! ) is that my therapist has said that mania (or depression, for that matter) are "stratagies" that one uses when the feelings are too overwhelming or the hurt is too much or the pain is too strong. maybe that's what's been going on with you.. especially since once you stopped and were able to be quiet for a minute, is when you really started feeling. it was like you "checked in" with your mind, just as you checked in with your body and realized you were so hungry.

anyway, just wanted to mention it. but mostly, i just wanted to say i think you're doing some great work. keep it up!