YUCK... I hve two cousins that are making mistakes similar to those it sounds like your neice. It sucks when we don't have control over things.

I am glad that your husband will be going with you for the smear. Does the person doing it know how scary it is for you? The first person I worked with was really great with me because she knew how scared I was. Do you know grounding skills? can your husband help you keep those grounding methods in mind?

I will be around if typing helps.