Oh sweetie! Reading your post sounds like the last 25 or so years of my life (when I didn't know I had BP). And I beat myself up over it big time the exact same way. It is NOT being weak-willed!!! It can be so hard to really believe this, especially if that thought is being re-enforced by those around you. That is but one reason I'm so glad you are here at PC, surrounded by so many who really do understand. It's not a case of blaming BP for everything, it's just accepting that we have certain challenges and traits that can make things much more difficult that those who don't have it can even truly understand, you know?

Meds, learning coping techniques, support... it all helps. We're here. That's what we're here for.