Today I was talking to my therapist on the phone. I have huge issues with being able to speak when I'm upset. And I told him I didn't want to see him this week, because it was hard to speak. And he said that we needed to meet. (unfortunately unlike most therapists, mine is mostly mandatory, however productive, because 95% I want to meet). I repeated that I wished not to. And he asked why. I told him "Never mind you're not getting it". And he raised his voice and got confrontational saying that I was passive aggressive and he didn't have time to read between the lines anymore. I just sighed, tried really hard to spit out what I wanted to say, but sucked it back in and whispered. "I can't do this". And hung up the phone on him.

He called me back a half hour later and apologized, saying that things at the office are stressing him out and he shouldn't have pushed me so much.

Was this okay? I feel like this was my fault. That I was bad.

I also feel like saying. "If you don't have time to "read between the lines", then you don't have the patience it takes to work on my anti dependence, and therefore you don't have time for me."

It's been an ongoing issue where I regularly have therapy appts not scheduled or canceled, because other patients have more severe needs. (Or ask for more then I do). So this also makes me feel that he has no time for me.