I wasn't caring much today. Then felt like not existing. Think it would be wonderful if I would turn into vapor and float off. So little stress yet it feels so so heavy. I see thinkgs need to be done everywhere. I can't seem to get it to end. I ask for help but it doesn't work. They just aren't old enough to understand why its so important to have homework done toys picked up and put in place. That I need to be able to come home and not feel overwhelmed the minute I get there. The world is turning grey. Not just from nature but from my mind as well. It hurts. Physically in my brain it hurts. Not like a headache. But it is still painful. I want to close my eyes and never wake stay in the darkforever. I don't know. I really just don't know