I'll try it out, but what usually happens is that after two-three weeks they'll break up with me because they don't believe I care.

And that makes sense, it really does, but even just saying it aloud alone in my room makes unwanted memories come flooding back. I can't think about it more than necessary. I just can't. I feel like I'll explode if I do. But... at the same time I know you're right. I don't, however, know how I can convince myself to do it. I hate to admit it but it's a frightening thing. I spend most of the time with my band, and I don't know what they would do if they ever found out that I was going to a therapist.