Please don't hurt yourself. You are really hurting yourself because you are so sad for your loss, and you haven't really given yourself time or a chance to grieve. You need to grieve, and not in a destructive way.

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. I'm also sorry for all the abuse you've sustained. I'm sorry you feel so alone that you just want to end it all. I've been there too.

But don't end it because of this. Even though it sucks, life has to go on. I lost a friend earlier this year to cancer, and to be honest it made me feel more alive. I realized that I had more to see, more people to meet, and more things to do than I ever imagined. And that was after I broke up with an abusive person and moved into my own apartment!

Believe me, I'm divorced and have been in some bad relationships. I come from a broken family who I am just now willing to spend time with because of their stupid drama. But nothing is more important than having the strength to move on.

Please - please! If you are this suicidal you should really seek some help. I think you are in such despair you can't see a way out, but there things you can do to help yourself. I've been there, too.

But thank you for reaching out. If you need cyber buddy to help you, I'm here. But please don't do anything else to hurt yourself. You deserve more than that and you have a chance to live this life, if you want it.

I'm worried about you! Email me if you like...