It is important to learn how to ask for what you need and also how to accept what you need. It almost sounds as if there may be something inside you that is telling you that you don't deserve to be treated the same way T treats the others? IDK - maybe I am way off here. But it feels like it may be very hard for you to get what you really do need for some reason. So you end up missing out on sessions you need to attend?

Can you set yourself up a solid time with T that doesn't change? That may help you to be there on "YOUR" time regardless of how you feel or if others think they need T?