Seems everywhere I go, people are either bored of me or outright angry at me. I have an extremely low self-image and am almost addicted to approval from others. You can understand how upsetting this is making me. I do NOT like to be hated, or even perceive that I am being hated. However, that's all I seem to bring out in people today, especially at my workplace. What is really upsetting is how I deal with rejection. It is almost a suicide like approach. I was seeing a psychiatrist but my psych health benefits ran out with my insurance co, so I effectively got "cut off" (part of the reason I am so depressed).

Anyway, what can I do about these recurring self-destructive thoughts. I probably would never follow through with suicide, bc I am kind of a coward when it comes to that. The very thought of or resort to self-destructive behavior as a substitute still means somehting to me and it is something I cannot seem to get away from. How can I cheer up and get myself out of this highly self-dangerous mood, especially when I feel so worthless from being rejected so much...?? I am very upset, any help or encouragement would not only be appreciated, it might wind up saving my life, at least down the road. Before anyone thinks this is just a manipulation to get attention, please let me assure you it is NOT. I am quite worried about what I am thinking and what I may be capable of. I am confused and alone and even scared. (I have tried praying but nothign seems to happen). PLEASE HELP, PLEASE!