I have been doing everything right, everything I ever learned in T about self-care. I have been riding my bike every day a LOT and I have been taking my vitamins and I have been eating and I have been taking care of myself. I have been doing the mindfulness thing on my bike. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. I even talked with my friend who was mad at me and she's not mad anymore, this time for real. But I feel OFF.

I have a lot more energy since I've been exercising. But the depression is going in the opposite direction, there is no balance... I feel weird and jumpy and nervous. Like when I talk to people I am like, overly animated, but it's like a sick kind of nervous energy where I am almost jumping out of my skin with like, inappropriate.. excitement? It's so weird. Today I could not put my thoughts together at work. I did the worst assessments in my life today, could not stay still or think straight. My tic things are really bad, I've spent my whole evening saying "I'm sorry" over and over and over and I don't even know what I'm saying that for. And saying other things too, like.. "don't kill me - don't kill me" and "I didn't mean to" but I seriously don't even know why I'm talking to myself and saying these things. And I keep thinking about the conversations I had today and how off I feel and whether everyone noticed. The things I say I only say to myself when no one is around. But my brain just feels crooked and I don't feel well. I feel like the pieces of my brain are scattered everywhere and there is some kind of malfunction.

Anyway I came here because I am really freaked out and I wish I knew what to do