Hello, Leo The Lion. I expect you have thought about your concerns enough to recognize you may not be able to solve them on your own. If that is the case, you may benefit from professional help.

Wanting to get better is an integral part of therapy. To say you will fail at therapy before even trying it certainly is problematical. My suggestion for you is to think of ways you can achieve a good result in therapy rather than conceding failure beforehand.

You have provided a lot of information about yourself in this thread, information a therapist would find useful. Should you decide to seek professional help, printing your posts for your treatment team I believe would be very helpful.

You might also want to start journal. The journal may allow you to focus on how you are feeling and the concerns that plague you. As part of the journal you also may want to explore what you want from life and what is holding you back.

These links may be of use: http://psychcentral.com/psychotherapy/
http://www.wellsphere.com/mental-hea...therapy/782440
How to Choose a Therapist
Distinctions Between Therapists' Degrees

Good luck.