I am thnking that what I go through with my husband must also be paranoia. It is when I am having these times where I end up picking fights and being really awful to him. I feel like he hates me.

I have to beg him to touch me and it is like a chore when I finally get him to say that he will give me a neck rub or whatever. Then while he is doing it, he is not paying attention. He plays games on his phone, throws a ball to the dog, etc... I get more loving touch (healing) from a massage therapist who doesn't know anything about me.

So the rational part of my brain tells me that I am being silly and that he is stressed and is pulling back a little for his own sanity. The irrational part of me says that it has been two years, and he is such a creature of habit (shoes in the same spot every night, morning routine in exact order every day, etc.) that I don't fit into the routine.

I am just another chore on top of the pile of chores.

This ties into my zombification post: In this case I want to zombify because then I won't care.

Oh, shut up. All I do is complain. I am so irritable!