I spend all day thinking, who am I? who am I? When I was in partial hospitalization they asked me and I could recite back to them things yet I couldn't feel deep down who I was. I read it's a part of borderline personality to not know who you are, to do things that get reactions because reactions are the only things that let you grasp at a shred of identity. In therapy I have a Christian psychiatrist and we working on seeing myslef as a child of God. It's like knowing me is a battle that I just cannot win.