Jesse added me this morning at 1:30am. I didn't know until I checked my e-mails around 8pm and seen his msn invite in the junk folder (haha). I dunno what was wrong with me, but I accepted and about a half hour later when he came on I let him explain to me why he added me in the first place. His reason? He missed me. I was just like "okay whatever". Miss.Rachel again broke up with him about ten minutes into our conversation and I spent about an hour just listening (again) to his problems. By the end he said he suddenly felt a lot of respect for me because I was actually willing to sit there and listen, putting all he did behind me. After that we talked like normal friends, and played a few games where we tried to confuse each other. The one who got confused lost and the other won gaining a point. It was a stupid game but passed the time quite nicely.. plus it was neutral.. so neither of us got into stupid junk like emotions. By the end now, about a half an hour ago he said Rachel took him back. This didn't affect me, and I asked him "Well what about her liking that other guy?" he said he didn't care, all I did was say that he should, and then we moved back into random conversation till he left about 5 minutes ago.

Now I just have to ask.. what the hell am I doing? This guy SUCKS. He was mean to me last month when we talked. He made fun of me and my friend. He put me down and caused a lot of anxiety. He cheated and it's only been just recently that I've finally been getting into a more positive mindset.. Right now I'm not hurting or anything nor do I feel anything for him.. but man.. I feel kinda stupid for accepting.. All I can say now was that it wasn't me who broke and ran back.. it was him.. I know I should have ignored it but.. I dunno.. I'm retarded. He probably only used me for emotional support cause Rachel left.. I hate myself right now.