Well, for me, it is to not react as I normally would--to break my old patterns. So I would try not to shut down, retreat, vacate, "go inside", become totally emotionless or stony-faced, etc. I would try to remain open to him and engaged, and ask for clarification or explanation, etc. Or I would give him validation if that seemed to fit. Or I would look inside and try to know what I am feeling and perhaps even try expressing that. I am not really able to do all of this yet, but I think these are healthy responses I need to learn. I also think this is a great question to ask your therapist. Probably one of the best outcomes for me has been that if T and I have a disagreement (with or without healthily expressed frustration/anger), I have learned it doesn't necessarily mean the end of the world, or our relationship, or his good opinion of me if I don't see eye to eye with him on something. So just having this experience changes the pattern in me, and makes it less scary next time, and enables me to respond better.