It is so hard to wait when feeling anxious. What if you wrote down your thoughts and feelings so you have them concretely and safely placed on paper so you don't have to hold on tightly to them anymore?

Sometimes I could do no more than just veg out in front of the tv for hours between appointments. Sometimes I wrote a lot. Sometimes I called T and left messages. Sometimes I would imagine what the next session would be like.
Somewhere along the way, I learned to sit with the feelings most of the time. I think when I learned I would not lose my thoughts and that T would be there, as planned.

Writing, just free-association writing is still something I enjoy doing.

I hope you feel better soon!