How does one deal with the sadness and feelings of loss when you are faced with realizations for the first time and the feelings that you belong no where? For the first time feelings of total aloneness and sadness over my childhood are hitting in waves and it feels as though I am being pulled away from myself. I feel that I could sink and disappear as though no one would know.

A part of myself hurts more than I can say and those things that are coming for myself and those within feels like they are pulling us under fast. Tears have fallen more than any other time and it feels I am drowning. Words seem to stop and yet are there just not able to bring them down. Everything feels black and white with no color. And I wonder if what I would say is anything of what I cannot say.

dps