Thanks guys. My mom is not exactly toxic, she's really not, she's just really spacey and "not there." (I actually think she has some issues with dissociation - she has described that she has derealization experiences and she seems "checked out" sometimes.) It's just upsetting that I tried to engage with her and she just.. didn't even listen. Makes me feel even more alone.

Today I took the day off work. Something about that feels sooooo good. I have been needing a break from work for so long. I am not that sick but I have plenty of sick time saved up and I am TAKING it today. It is an incredible relief to think I don't have to go back to work until Monday next week. Isn't that sad though? I am more excited about having a break from work than I am about the holiday.