i'm sooooooo blah, from the med change. going off effexor......sucks. i've been really depressed lately with no motivation to do anything. well i did go get my blood work done for the new psych today, so i guess that's something.

Anyways, lately i've been thinking about what the new psych said, but i'm not sure what to think about it. Back in sept during one of my hospital stays, i was diagnosed as DID along with the standing BP dx. He told me that the DID could be caused by the BP not being treated properly. soooo, does that mean when the BP is treated properly, the alters will go away, and i'll be back to just me? b/c i kinda like having them around, even though they can be a pain in the *** sometimes. but i've kinda gotten used to them being there, doing what i don't want to do, etc. so it's kinda scary to think that i'm just going to lose all of that, but on the same hand, i would like to be a functioning member of society again and have a brain that actually works the right way, get a job, not dissociate every time i'm stressed by something, be there for others, basically all the things i'm not capable of doing now. i also feel really bad, that i haven't been able to do the BP/Depression chat in like forever, but i can't help others, if i can't help myself first, and being in this mess i'm in i decided i should take some time off.