I am sorry you are going through so much. I understand and agree with the idea that therapy could be a waste of money if you don't open up. But...how about counselling services at school (you are at college? university?) I see them for support while i work and study (both parttime), and it might help - as others have said - in getting stuff out there in a safe way to ease the pressure off. Not that therapy changes EVERYTHING around you, but it could help you...