Maybe I'm just projecting my own uncertainties on to her. But I really want to know what she thinks about my abilities. She asked if I thought that she had my best interests in mind. But what if we don't agree what is best for me. I know in a way I asked at the end of session because I really just wanted a yes or no answer. But even with a few minutes left, she managed to avoid my question.
I told her when I started that I needed T to be a place where I didn't have to be perfect. Where I could share my problems without being judged. But now I feel like sharing those things has lead her to believe I can't succeed. Is it wrong for me to want my T to believe in me?
Now I feel all alone. What if she is mad with me? I feel so alone. What if she hates me? I feel like a failure. If I can't convince someone who is supposed to be on my side, how can I convince anyone else?