My T has expressed frustration with me a handful of times. I am very scared of anger, and even minor annoyance on his part has sent me into skittishness (and, on one occasion, a flashback). In all instances he was very controlled and, to someone besides me, probably seemed just a teensy bit irritated.

These times have really been helpful to me. It's helped me work through my reactions in a safe place, to better understand how I respond to anger in other people. It's helped me understand that someone can be annoyed with me and not hurt me or think badly of me. It's helped me understand that anger is natural and can be worked through.

T has made a point of telling me whenever he notices the minutest trace of anger, so that we can work with it. And now, sometimes, I can tell him when I'm angry, too. it's nice to see that anger occurs in relationships but doesn't mean destruction and terror. For so long I have equated an angry feeling with an angry action. I am learning you can talk about it, resolve it, and move on without hurting anyone.