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Well, today was my first appointment with a psychologist about the voice that's been bothering me. It was like any regular first session. They just ask you questions and talk briefly about what has been going on. But this psychologist is $100/h. I just feel really bad that my parents have to spend that much.
Trish is her name, she's really nice and understanding. Usually when I try to tell people what's going on or to describe anything the words come out all jumbled up, but luckily she understood what I was saying. But usually when I talk to people about my problems I can't look at them. I always have to look at the ground, I always have to position myself in the same way and shake my feet. I always have this position everytime.
Other than going to my first appointment about the voice I've never really improved all that much. Still have troubles sleeping, concentrating, hallucinations.. etc. Even at my appointment when She was talking to my dad I couldn't concentrate at what they were talking about, I just stared at the ground, shaking my feet at picking at my skin.
What she suggested was that I check in with my doctor as soon as I could and to try some things that distract myself so the voice could stop. Also that we make a safety net, that I could go to the hospital to be in a secure place if it got worse again. She also said that I'm really quite for someone who has a voice this bad in their head. That I'm using alot of my energy just keeping it inside and that by not sleeping doesn't help at all with any of the other symptoms.
It really did feel alot better to be able to talk to someone. But I just hate after the appointment is done you always think of things you wish you would have mentioned.
Well, my next appointment is next thursday dec 2nd. And tomorrow my dad will be making the appointment with the doctor.
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