I don't mean feel, I do mean that he's literally told me how I'm better. I don't really take it to heart because I know he's a parrot and copies everything he says to everyone.. but I can't help but feel a little smug about it (it's the I told you so feeling again when he complains). The bet would be that they probably have talked about me horribly together.. I mean she HATES me and he will do just about anything to make her happy (which as I've learned means going as far as to hack into a teacher's computer just to talk with her online during school).

I never really wanted to have to go through relationship struggles. For the longest time I snubbed guys who liked me or asked me out. I said being in relationships at my age was a waste of time and it was just more logical to ignore it until we're older and more mature to handle things like this. I know I'm not well equip to deal with it.. and maybe I knew that before I even started this mess which was why I looked down on them.. But there are always those select few who make you question yourself..

From Jesse now, the only thing I'm getting is (likely) false confirmation that Rachel isn't, and never was, my equal.. That she wasn't someone worth feeling intimidated over.. Basically it's feeding my ego.. and this has unhealthy written all over it as I'm putting my self-worth on what he thinks.